Well hello... Long time no write huh? I'm so sorry about that... Mom and I have to cut back now because we're saving for the baby, so internet time is limited. Something to do with networking... Wutever that means, all I know is that I can only get online a couple times a week and for a limited amount of time... it really blows! But it's better than nothing I guess right? I've gotten so much bigger, I'm already 7 months pregnant... oh wow. This world is caving in on me... everyday things are so hard to do. I'm exsausted and spend most of my time sleeping. School was a joke because I looked like a staggering zombie attempting to fit in with society... I just couldn't stay awake... That's why I've dropped out. Stress is a weapon... people use the weapon to help them get out of things... for me, the weapon turned against me. I really wish I could go to school, be social... do what NORMAL kids do... but no. I'm Allyson, the world is against me! Oh shut up Allyson... you're being so selfish, you're so lucky to have mom, don't let others get to you. True... true... I can't wait till the baby is born, I's so excited to see him/her... But more excited to end this pain! I don't even care about the pain in giving birth (I'm sure that will change during the birth!) All I want is my baby... healthy... and with me. It's my everything because it's been through all of this with me, yet it never complains, it simply listens to all my problems... and is with me when I cry... I know it loves me... And God do I return the love... so incredibly much... I'm going to give it an amazing life, it deserves one, no matter what.

*Yawn* I'm tired already and it's nearly 9:00pm. I've been very anti-social lately so it's hard to update you on life outside of my apartment... Aaron's mom has been everyday to help cook dinner, make sure I'm ok while mom is at work... etc... She's such a sweetheart! She says it's the least she can do! Sometimes Aaron stops by after school and watches T.V with me... we talk on the phone a lot too, he's been really caring and sweet lately, but nothing's happened... we're just friends.

Oh wow... life with me is so boring... Swelled ankles, sore back, and Tyler with another girl.. Oh I didn't tell you? Yeah, I totally freaked out and now I feel like an idiot. Kristah calls me and tells me she was at Brandon's party and Tyler was there... with this little skanky dressed 14 year old. I flipped out and finally got the nerve to confront him... Turns out it's his little cousin who he was looking out for... proved it too. Yeah. I've avoided him for a week now... Felt like the biggest idiot alive... but then again I'm sitting here, 14 years old with a baby in my stomach. Idiot may not be the right word... um how about FOOLISH?

Allyson

P.S Oh yeah, join my notify list for my updates... Life gets better at some point right?