It's been quite a while huh? I'm sorry about that, I've just been so busy with visiting relatives, trying to keep up with my friends, bascially trying to keep busy. Because when I'm busy I don't have to think, think about the harsh reality that it's getting harder and harder to be a kid... It's been five hard months, but I'm living.

Thank God I have mom, through all the friends who were there at the beginning, and not at the end... or the ones who have just started helping me now... No one compares to my mother. She's been there all along and she's been giving me more support than I deserve... I don't know how she puts up with everything, her job, me, and all the drama. She's such a strong woman.

During our break from school I haven't been doing too much with friends. I was shopping with Holly at the Boxing Day sales, and went to the movies with Kristah and Taylor... but not as much as I would usually do. Mostly I've been talking to Tyler, he's such a great guy but I've been holding myself back. I don't want a relationship, not at this time in my life. I mean, I am so incredibly lonely now that I don't have Aaron... but I still love Aaron, and I think I always will, just because we bonded so much, he is the father of my child... you know? I can't bear to date anyone else... it's too hard. Tyler came over for dinner two nights ago, my mom really likes him... but he was just over to watch a movie and stuff. He's so funny, he can always make me laugh, no matter what.

On December 30th we picked up Aaron and went to get my second ultrasound, we saw a lot more this time, it was so amazing!!! Aaron was holding my hand so tight, I knew he was so taken by the whole thought that the little thing we were seeing was... ours. His hand was getting sweaty, but his eyes were glued to the screen. Every so often he'd glance at me and smile. He's such a great guy, I can't believe how mature he's being about this. He actually seems excited. Mom kept mentioning how tiny the baby was, she thought it was so beautiful... just like me. I saw it's little legs, kidney, bladder, hands... everything... it's so unbelievable. It's hard to believe that those nights when I'm so upset and I sit and talk to my baby, that is what I'm talking to... I'm so attatched to it... It's incredible. They said that the sex of the baby wasn't too clear and they don't want to guess, so we'll just have to wait and see! I kind of want it to be a suprise, whatever it is, I will love it eternally.

That's all I have for now... I'll try to update more often!

Love Always

Allyson