I went to the doctor's yesterday and everything is looking pretty good. Can you believe that I'm already two months pregnant??! Two fricken months! I eat all the time, and I'm starting to gain weight, I know it. Aaron pretends he doesn't see it, but I do... I'm so ugly. I can't start highschool looking like a fat-ass ugly cow, I would be such a loser... I'm already up to 100 pounds. Triple digits! I throw up all the time beacause of the pregnancy, why aren't I losing weight? Mom said it's good to gain weight and asked me if I wanted my baby to be healthy or not. Of course I do! I guess I can deal with it... I got myself into this mess... It's so hard to believe that there's a baby inside me... Mom told some close relatives, she told me by the time I start showing everyone will find out anyway, so we might as well tell the family. I decided to tell a couple friends too, but we're keeping it a secret for now. Uncle Mark and Aunt Heather came over last night to see how I was doing. Aunt Heather has always been so close to me because she's only 24, and Uncle Mark hardly spoke a word. He gave me a big hug and I overheard him tell mom, "It's hard to believe there's a little person growing in such a little person... she's a tiny girl Sarah, she can't do it on her own." Of course I can't... geeze. I was painting Aunt Heather's nails in my room and we were just talking while mom and Uncle Mark talked. Aunt Heather was talking as if nothing was up, she's such a great person. She brought me chocolates and some money, and she told me to save the money. Of course I will. I ate some chocolates today, they didn't stay down too long though... I don't think mom had an easy time telling Grandma... she was crying. My Grandma's a really nice lady, but I just get the feeling that my mom thinks she's failed her a second time. She already believes she failed as a daughter because she ran off with my dad when she was 16. After my dad left my Grandma and my mom rebonded, but they haven't been as close as they ever were. I feel so terrible. Things could be a lot better right now... I used to remove all my stress with dance, but now that's not even there. I told all my close friends, (all the ones on the character page) and Aaron told two of his close friends. We also had to tell Rachel because she kept calling us about dance. She's... shocked. My friend's reacted... differently. My girls cried and some got a little excited. But they are 100% there for me and Aaron because they know that we need all the support we can get. Brian, Reese, and Kyle are really concerned. Brian has been such a good friend for so long... but now he's... kind of distant. It's terrible... Reese comes over a lot and started calling me more, and Kyle's a lot of help too because one of his friends in grade 12 got a girl pregnant so he understands. All my girlfriends had a huge sleep-over at my house a couple nights ago, it was just like old times, except they started getting me really excited about the baby. They are wonderful, I don't know what I would do without them... They were mentioning names, and talking about a baby shower and how they were definitely throwing one for me. LOL, they are cute! They said if I ever needed a baby-sitter I was covered, lol. It was really, really fun.

Aaron and I are going to the movies tonight with Kyle, Jordan, Brittany, and Brittney's boyfriend. I think we're going to see Blue Crush. Today Aaron and I made out for so long on my bed, sometimes I really want to make love to him, just because my heart feels like it's going to burst if I don't do something quick. It's not the horomones, I feel it in my heart... do you think we should? I mean, it's not like I can get pregnant...

Anyway I gotta go do my hair, make-up, and get dressed, I want to look extra good for Aaron... :)

Allyson